Too Touchy

                Men and women can have the complete opposite attitude and be each other’s antagonists, such as in gender battles. In Gamble & Gamble’s essay, it is stated than men have a dominant nature that is encouraged in the media. In contrary, under many generations women have an inferior role in societies and households. These propositions have granted men’s character of touching; men do have a tendency of showing physical contact more often than women, as possessive traits. Although many oppose this detail as factual, it can be proven and seen in public as much as in personal circumstances.

                Seen as chivalry, men traditional escort women in vehicles, open doors, and pull seats for them in formal dining. In all these scenarios, men usually place one of their hands on the women’s back waist, as to lead them (or push). Although the physical contact is more intended than definite, acquaintances are less likely to actually touch. Regardless, it is as if men have the birthright to supervise women. As fragile, peaceful and abiding creatures, women are to smile in return and show grace with a “thank you”.

Other ways men show dominance is in their voice; as lower volumes and bold tones are taken more seriously in the society, men usually deepen their pitch. It is also part of masculinity to hold back in smiles. In customer service, particularly the food service, it is noticeable how men refuse to engage in friendly conversations or even smile unless they are the one to initiate the state of affairs. On occasion, they would reply when asked questions but usually they even refuse to talk and rather show nonverbal cues. It is definitely hard to get a “thank you” or traditional courtesy nowadays as men have a tendency of just nodding or shaking their heads side to side in response to a question.

Working in food industry (a yogurt shop), it is seen through customers and fellow coworkers that people still recognize sexist roles. With ten crew members, there are only three males currently working in Palmdale’s local yogurt shop by 10^th street West. From those three, only one works a mid-shift; the men have the least hours. Infuriated and fed up with female ‘bonding’, I tried to observe as to why my employer fails to hire more men. Is working in a yogurt shop too girly or is it because customers rather see a woman? The answer is complicated. Women are more responsive than men, and in dessert shops it is nice to see a smiling face or a feminine facade behind the counters when getting something sweet. The fact of the matter is that society still views females as more nurturing and loving than males; that is why women are more likely to have a place in customer service.  

In terms of women’s caressing nature, it is that; they rather caress to show love and warmth rather than touch. Showing too much physical connection can be revered as impolite –both in men and women. Further on, men are more likely to be excused in “touching” because the society gives them the benefit of the doubt. If the touching seems a little too inappropriate, the woman is looked down upon as much as the man who started it. For that reason, females refuse to show more physical contact than a handshake in the professional world.

It Starts at Home

Quality of communication between me and authority figures is a subject that is best left alone, unanalyzed. Although I usually lack the confidence in interpreting my ideas and true concerns, I somehow am able to defend my opinion and personal stance in important issues towards employers, school officials, etc. Throughout my life, or as far as I could remember, there have always been a problem with communicating with adults, which are now my peers. As a little girl, I was raised and taught not to participate in adult conversations nor should I reason or talk back to my parents. Rarely expressing my real concerns with parents or guardians, it was always hard talking to anyone. No, I did not have a perfect childhood nor did I have a good mother-daughter, father-daughter relationship. My conversation with my parents can be best described as one talker and one listener, and it never changes.

                Listening to my father’s life lessons and my mother’s childhood never failed to interest me but it is in those times that I learned to stay quiet. When I say one thing, either one of them would have an offset comment. It was hard complaining or expressing my ideas because they always knew better than me. Perhaps Guinan’s father experienced a similar childhood as me, because according to the writer, his father and I live with the same attitude. My parents had all the authority and rights to complain about my rebellions and bad attitude because they were once my age; while I should understand them because it is their first time being parents and not just to me but to 5 kids.

                The strenuous practice of silence at home taught me to be a good listener in school and in the workplace. I do not say anything prior being told or given assignment nor do I complain too much. From being a superb disciple, what my childhood lacked in giving me is assurance –perhaps authority. Too obedient and scared to talk to my parents about personal issues such as bad days at school or embarrassing events, I definitely lacked in personal advices. Everything I learned from them, I learned from their childhood and their experiences. I never knew what to do in my special cases, only that I had to toughen it out. Nevertheless, I always treasured my parents’ stories.

                Although there is a big gap in my communal relationship with my parents, there is still a quality and gratitude that stands. Between me and authority figures, I am well aware of my position –and I know how and when to defend myself. The quality of communication between my parents and I is mostly one sided but it is very important. It is through them that I gain confidence and knowledge in my professional position. In unlikely situations, such as a bad day at work, regardless of how upset my customers get me, I am able to lengthen my fuse and talk to them peacefully. Because my parents trained me to listen first, observe, think and then respond, I gained the patience and humility that is best valued in customer service.

Hablas you anglais?

 As many great scholars know, “knowledge is power”. When it comes to language and culture, it is more than facts that we learn; we also learn of a different lifestyle and customs apart from our habitual routine. Practicing focus on another country is a way of giving importance to our neighbors around the world. Acknowledging that there are different kinds of people in the world, this broadens our minds about humanity. In a way, it is like opening a door to a mansion filled with 100 more doors that we inevitably open. It is just right that we become curious and would want to know answers, because we cannot remain ignorant about global issues.

I definitely think and agree that college students should require foreign language in order to graduate. There are beauty and many great lessons upon learning about other countries. The foreign language, if taken with great regards, can take a person far from its idioms but to open his/her eyes to a dissimilar perceptive. It teaches its students about finding common grounds with an entirely differing belief system –or vice versa. To clarify myself, in order to understand a foreign language (let’s say Japanese), you have to constantly translate words from English to Jap then Jap to English to get used to the expression. From there, the student will begin looking at things using Japanese words or descriptions; he/she begins to think as Japanese.

In learning a foreign language, we also learn of a foreign history or history from a foreign point of view. Knowing about a distant culture shrinks or breaks down language barriers. Although there are over trillion people living on earth, we are all living in one planet. What is happening on the opposite end of the ball park would very much affect the entire park –may it be good or bad; what happens to a local park would very much affect the entire community; within that community, a city would be affected and so on. With that said a college student cannot possibly remain unaffected when he hears that there is war in Libya and mass murders take place every day. Although it is imaginary for a mere Spanish lecture to  immediately take effect  on a student to care about Spanish speaking people (or at least the Spanish living in Spain), the broader that student’s culture becomes, the more he can relate to global issues. Relation is the key to change; it is the initiation for people to care about other people.

It is important for a person to have a global awareness in prior to making a big difference in the world. It cannot always be about one culture and one belief system. As part of the human species, we have to watch out for each other –regardless the ethnicity— to survive and grow. We learn from each other and use each other as support system. We cannot simply judge other cultures or enthnicity without knowing where they're coming from. Perhaps knowing about the French culture or the Chinese, would elaborate on their way of being. Perhaps knowing that much would allow us to understand and stop judging. Threfore, taking a foreign language is definitely worth it and should be required upon graduating.

Charged Words, Advocate

Newman and Genevieve Birk stress how it is human nature to use charged words in communication; in writing or in speaking, we all have our individual interpretations of things. Without intention we express the facts based on our point of view, that is how and what events took place the way it was personally seen, and then misleading the reader/listener. An example would be about a mother and a daughter. As a completely unbiased narrator, the story would be of a common mother-daughter misunderstanding. The daughter, required to stay after school because of an unfinished group work, forget to phone home.

After the academic related hours with friends, she decides there is no harm on getting something to eat before heading home. Then from eating, it became getting coffee, dessert and finally hanging out at the mall. This is very common for everybody, unexpected events. On the other hand, her mother’s at home relentlessly trying to get a hold of her cell phone. Unfortunately, the daughter’s cell phone is ignored (as she had kept it silent the entire time in school) or maybe the phone loses its battery life. To the daughter she is completely innocent and had no bad intentions against her mother; like any teenager, she simply forgot to call home. What about the mother’s point of view?

 In the opposite side of the grass, it so happened that a mother had important errands to meet and no one was to stay home with her 5 year old son but her 16 year old daughter. Thinking that she may have stayed afterschool, the mom went to the high school and found her daughter out of sight. It was close to 8 and still her daughter was of no reach. From upset and angry because of missing 2 important meetings, she suddenly becomes worried. She was last seen with friends around 4:30 but was heard to be heading home. After calling all her daughter’s contacts one finally answered, the best friend. As a mother, she in frantic and excited to know where her daughter is but glad she was safe, also she demands her home immediately.

                From this point on, the mother and the daughter would have their own opinion of what happened. The daughter would probably accuse her mother of being dramatic, exaggerated and overprotective. The mother, furious, would take her daughter as inconsiderate, selfish, and immature (irresponsible). Nevertheless, to get a full account of what happened, it is necessary to hear of both sides. Having our own responses is natural, and how the story is passed on depends on the reader/listener’s past, personality, moral beliefs, etc. Would he/she sympathize with the mother or the daughter; which negative reactions would be emphasized?

Charged words, though often unbalanced, shape or allows the speaker to express their ideas and feelings entirely; if not entirely, to its extent. That is the point of communicating, getting intentions to others. Without charged words, we limit ourselves; a very familiar thing to many writing pupils. A writer is all about opinions and feelings, with these factors the reader can understand and maybe share the same feelings as the writer. A book or a novel’s tone depends entirely on the writer’s stance in life. If he/she is completely uncharged in writing, the reader would get a completely trite material.

Life is all about opinions and speaking out. Uncharged words do not exist except in the dreariest encyclopedia, which includes of no attitude.  “Without charged language, life would be but half life”, (Birk & Birk 139). When a writer/speaker tries to be balanced in words, information is being kept hidden because people do not always know of balanced information. Listeners always know more of the negative or the positive side of the information, never of both equally. Some things are just more familiar to others; that is why we must live with charged language. Lastly, charged words advocate our personality and character. It tells other people more than a story but OUR PERSONAL story.