Silent but Deadly

Is there more crime in staying quiet than doing the act? Is it most offensive when you do not say or do anything at all? I couldn’t agree more; in fact, what makes it truer is its growing epidemic.  As humans, we go by influence; we act upon the majority’s conduct. While one person does wrong, the others become accomplices and do ten times worse. Therefore, everyone is guilty of the same crime but in different degrees. First off, let me explain how powerful influence is in the human society. Personally, I think it may be due to the reason that people in general lack confidence. We tend to let others think for us; we rather listen and follow than think on our own. Secondly, influence can also overwhelm individuals; majority of the population are too intimidated to oppose the government, tradition, etc. Although we may not immediately admit to our weakness towards pressure, we know by history that it is true. Silence is a dangerous epidemic because we do not like being questioned. If a hundred people can speak for you, why would you resist? An example can be as simple as bullying in school. When one kid is the center of negative attention, the rest are just happy not to be the target. Maybe it’ll start in grammar school but it will carry on to high school.

In Martin Luther King Jr’s essay, he clearly states that there must be an immediate action against the long overdue hate crime against the non-Whites. The segregation between the colored and the Whites has been too long tolerated that change is hard to see; that is what omission does. When you let one thing happen, another comes at a worse condition and it becomes harder to counter. “We will have to repent… not merely for the hateful words and actions of bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people” (King, Jr 534). Not saying anything is as good as supporting it; when you do not testify against a crime, you might as well have done it. Elie Weisel in The Perils of Indifference talks of the similar dilemma:

It is so much easier to look away from victims. It is so much easier to avoid such rude interruptions to our work, our dreams, our hopes. It is, after all, awkward, troublesome, to be involved in another person's pain and despair. Yet, for the person who is indifferent, his or her neighbor are of no consequence. And, therefore, their lives are meaningless. Their hidden or even visible anguish is of no interest. Indifference reduces the other to an abstraction.

Tolerating evil blind or confuse people’s morality. Individual actions change things but working together work miracles. One oppressor isn’t as strong as ten followers who then will have another set of ten. We work in pyramids through influence.  People outside the crime have a better overview, in that they see outside of anger or impulse, which is why they are more liable.

Silence and indifference work hand in hand. You stay quiet because you fail to see the difference of what you can do/say. You also fail to acknowledge that there are other people who share the same belief and understand that together you can amend the injustice.

A Minor Major Problem

            Being a bilingual and a middle child, it is fresh in my mind the real issues of language barriers. I can say that I have experienced it in several ways and with several people. There is always a problem between family, friends and school, I could never catch up. When I think about the first times I was being taught proper English in the Philippines, I remember staring at my teacher thinking, do you really think we’ll be able to speak this? It’s like taking Spanish or French in high school and acing the class but still not being able to speak it. You can follow the rules and do well in the class but interacting with a native speaker requires expressions and real understanding of the culture. The English language itself is ever changing.

            Once we migrated to the states (I was eight), my doubt and shy attitude of speaking English slowly disappeared. I don’t quite remember the exact day or moment it happened, but all of the sudden I was so talkative that nobody could even stop me from speaking English. I was learning new words and new expressions. Perhaps it was the time that my mother set me up on a play date that I unconsciously practiced my “tagalog” tongue. Sure I was speaking in broken English, pronouncing my F’s with P’s and enunciating every letter of the word so harshly, but I comfortable speaking it. To give a clear example, I would often say “I wAnt sam chokoleyt” or “yes I am in grayd tree”. Another problem I had were Tagalog idioms that I could not express because explaining it in English would take half an hour and it would still come off differently. Nevertheless, it was fun learning new English words like “inevitable”, “pathetic” or “procrastinate”.

            It didn’t matter how fluent I felt I was in English because although I may have reached far from my English lessons, I was still outside of the English speaking community. Growing up in the urban city of L.A., there were million other children who were bilingual so I couldn’t possibly make that an excuse. There is to be no language barrier, not acceptable at all but other than the language itself, I also had confidence issues. Being a middle child, I tried to reason with my older siblings but they just always knew a little more than me. So evidently, never winning an argument with them made me conscious including when they’re around. The same goes with my younger brothers, they’re smart-alecks and having a short temper doesn’t really help. Altogether, my family helped me become a more intellectual speaker because it became a habit to think before I spoke. This practiced helped with school, the place where I had the most problem talking.

At home I remember being teased by my siblings for my thick accent and so I began to wonder about my Spanish speaking friends, who seem to be so fluent in both English and Spanish. Then the thought came to me that they have been speaking the two languages since birth and maybe it’s because I took in too much Tagalog and not enough English.  Therefore, I made it a goal to completely forget about my native language and focus on English, I had to be fluent. It wasn’t a difficult task as I barely had any Tagalog speaking friends and it sure made things so much easier as I was gradually losing my thick foreign accent and then making even more friends! I can relate myself a lot to Richard Rodriguez, although he isn’t one of the authors this chapter. His story strongly relates to me including when it comes to my parents. Because our culture is more traditional, they hated me talking back, including when it was in English because it just sounds so disrespectful. In Tagalog, we use “opo” or “oho” as a term of endearment when answering questions; it’s a show of respect. So when my parents ask me and I can’t hear, I would say “what?” instead of “po?” and it completely throws them off. In English, “opo” would be, “yes sir” or “yes ma’am”. I refused to go on like that because I was focused on friends and school!

            Now, to be more honest; I was speaking slang English and forgetting all the lessons I took of proper English. I was definitely making more friends and losing my accent but I was now unable to write any proper essay. I got used to using “like” and “ya know”. Although I thought I was practicing English well, my teachers felt differently. They said that my writing skills, although creative, have gone a terrible turn for the worse. It was hard expressing myself, including when I was so hooked on the word, “actually”! It was harsh to hear and unbearable to accept so I chose to ignore it until I could no longer. Starting middle school, all my friends were leaving me behind, they were taking advance English classes and I couldn’t let it happen –I mean the school was ready to put me in ESL programs when I was as fluent as any of my citizen friends- so I focused.    

            In this chapter of my language inconsistency, I can admit to relate to Malcolm X’s Homemade Education. Since I lost almost all of my proper language skills, in high school I knew I had to do more than any of my school peers. I had to do extra work at home to catch up. I couldn’t slack of anymore and I had to do every single assigned work whether it is extra credit or simple advice. Reading his essay, I was surprised to know that he was also copying pages of the dictionary and relying on it as an assistant. I always had a dictionary on my side all throughout high school, and it was worth it too. I made Dean’s list every semester Starting Sophomore year.

            Now that I’ve gone from Tagalog speaker to English speaker, I can’t say that the battle is over. Since I left my native language on hold, I am not as fluent in Tagalog as I thought I would be. There are words and expressions forgotten but I can’t say it’s any better with English. I’m in the midst of the two and still have difficulty fully expressing myself using just one language. Often, I speak “Taglish” at home because it’s hard to remember words in one language.

Critical Thinking

In school, they would say that critical thinking is asking questions. Questioning why, how, or what is, rather than simply accepting any suggested idea. I hold that thought and I wonder if that's all it is. For me, critical thinking is more than asking questions but it is also making sense of things. Generally, I think its sole purpose is to broaden our understanding and push our minds to its ultimate limit. Exercising our brain and creating our own philosophies in life is what separate us from other animals. As oxygen help with our body's blood flow, challenging our minds fuel our train of thought. That is what critical thinking does for us.
As for personal habits in regards to reading and thinking critically, I try to challenge myself by closing the book and interpreting what happened in my own words. Because I do dream a lot, I also have the tendency of rethinking what I read over and over again until I have a clear statement. Sometimes I do fail to interpret my readings in the writers' intentions but I'm glad enough to be able to have a say. Another area where I try to practice or challenge myself is in grammar and vocabulary. If there is a word that seems familiar and or entirely new, I try to use it in other sentences to make more sense of it.

I do actively read on my own but sometimes I still doubt myself and so I go online and research more of my readings' background or what others may say about it. Frankly, if it becomes too complicated, I go on sparknotes because it is the only trusted site I know. The second tool I use is the school's ebscohost, but that's when I definitely have no choice. I don't really read political journals or pay much attention to the media as I know I should be. It's embarrassing to admit but I'm not as productive in learning and involved in global or even local affairs. Sometimes I wonder why, but I did used to be more curious about the world or politics when I was too young to do anything. Now, I'm just tired of the political talk and just always surprised about global news. I mean the issues haven't changed but the people are the same as well. It's just the age that's changing. My views may be appalling or disappointing to read but I'm just trying to be honest. Of course, aside to my direct comments, I do hope to change my views of things. I want to get back into that more educated, curious side of me. Maybe I just became too tired because of personal problems too.

Academically, in taking this class I hope to learn how to write my papers in less time and give my them more appeal. I want to learn to analyze by knowing what questions to ask. I know it seems very immature but I believe starting from the beginning is key. I will do whatever it takes to get to that point. If writing these journals is part of the practice then I will do it. I want to be able to write the best paper without any grammatical error. Let's do this!