It Starts at Home

Quality of communication between me and authority figures is a subject that is best left alone, unanalyzed. Although I usually lack the confidence in interpreting my ideas and true concerns, I somehow am able to defend my opinion and personal stance in important issues towards employers, school officials, etc. Throughout my life, or as far as I could remember, there have always been a problem with communicating with adults, which are now my peers. As a little girl, I was raised and taught not to participate in adult conversations nor should I reason or talk back to my parents. Rarely expressing my real concerns with parents or guardians, it was always hard talking to anyone. No, I did not have a perfect childhood nor did I have a good mother-daughter, father-daughter relationship. My conversation with my parents can be best described as one talker and one listener, and it never changes.

                Listening to my father’s life lessons and my mother’s childhood never failed to interest me but it is in those times that I learned to stay quiet. When I say one thing, either one of them would have an offset comment. It was hard complaining or expressing my ideas because they always knew better than me. Perhaps Guinan’s father experienced a similar childhood as me, because according to the writer, his father and I live with the same attitude. My parents had all the authority and rights to complain about my rebellions and bad attitude because they were once my age; while I should understand them because it is their first time being parents and not just to me but to 5 kids.

                The strenuous practice of silence at home taught me to be a good listener in school and in the workplace. I do not say anything prior being told or given assignment nor do I complain too much. From being a superb disciple, what my childhood lacked in giving me is assurance –perhaps authority. Too obedient and scared to talk to my parents about personal issues such as bad days at school or embarrassing events, I definitely lacked in personal advices. Everything I learned from them, I learned from their childhood and their experiences. I never knew what to do in my special cases, only that I had to toughen it out. Nevertheless, I always treasured my parents’ stories.

                Although there is a big gap in my communal relationship with my parents, there is still a quality and gratitude that stands. Between me and authority figures, I am well aware of my position –and I know how and when to defend myself. The quality of communication between my parents and I is mostly one sided but it is very important. It is through them that I gain confidence and knowledge in my professional position. In unlikely situations, such as a bad day at work, regardless of how upset my customers get me, I am able to lengthen my fuse and talk to them peacefully. Because my parents trained me to listen first, observe, think and then respond, I gained the patience and humility that is best valued in customer service.