Stupid Overrun

Growing up is always new and exciting for children. What adults see as common, to children is a new lesson. When and where does name calling start? It does not take an expert to know that children take after what they see. May it be the people around them or the shows they watch in television, children learn name calling. Who decides what is innocent name calling and what it offensive? When does name calling take offense? Without a doubt, it starts with the connotation. Let’s take the cartoon show “Spongebob” for example. Although it does not have what the society would call “real profanity”, it still includes the words, stupid or idiot. Stupid and idiot are definitely one of the first profanity words that I learned growing up. It was new and “bad” but I knew what it meant. It meant that the person is not as smart or as intellectual as he/she should be. Kids definitely like to use these two words, including when they feel like ‘grown ups’ when saying them.

In the Philippines, the children are earlier challenged in academic work than in America. That is, the children are supposed to learn reading prior entering first grade. There is no age limit to applying children in school; the schools can start teaching children by the age of 3 or 4. I, on the other hand, was always behind; may it be physical or mental development, I always learn last. Because I was considered slow, I was often called “stupid”. Of course I failed to beg the differ; I accepted all those name callings. I definitely could not find any defense. I did not learn how to read until the middle part of 1^st grade, I had the poorest grade in math, and it went the same for the other subjects. What being called stupid did for me was lower my self-worth. Often, I was scared of growing up because I overanalyzed everything. I would study my parents, my older siblings and other adults around me and think that what they did was hard –it was too difficult for me and I am scared of reaching that point.

Accepting being stupid gave me a limit –although it was a pretty pathetic standard, it was something. I promised myself not to get dumber than that. Although I was often called slow publicly, I never showed that it bothered me. I would look at other kids and see how they react to name calling. Predictably, the kids would cry because of overwhelming emotions. Often, they were seen immature and they were never taken seriously, I did not want to be like them. Consequently, despite my overflowing pained emotions, I never cried and would just laugh it out. As it is today, stupidity and intelligence is a subject that hits too close to home. When it is my intelligence being questioned, I often get too caught up with emotion and fumble on my words. Perhaps I am traumatized, but I cannot tell for sure.