I am conflicted! I have such a complicated mind that even I just give up to understand myself. There are so many things I want to do in my life, I think I should just start doing them instead of complaining, thinking, saying "what if"s.
Well, here is my dilemma: I got laid off in the week of Valentine's day, making myself unemployed for officially 8 weeks now. Yes, I have been looking for work, but I can't deny that I'm enjoying the leisure time. If my conscience weren't killing me about not working or going to school, I would have a lot of fun. But the fact of the matter remains that my family needs all the help they can get, my sister is the only provider in the house. I feel bad, but I'm tired of not living my life. Compared to a lot of people my life is the sweetest thing. My family is understanding in a lot of ways, I love them. I do feel spoiled a lot of the times but change has to happen, it has to start someway, somehow. So my mom finally booked our trip with my sister's Godmother to Paris! I am so excited... kind of. Still thinking of the current financial issue, and thinking about the time I'll have with my mom, OMG! I mean she's not that bad to be with, but for a travel buddy? We're both just so vulnerable. I'm scared! Well, I had the weekend to ease it in until I am fully excited again about Europe! Then comes Monday morning, today, my dad rushes to my side handing me the phone. It was Bri from the staffing agency and I have an interview for tomorrow. Ugggh!!! I couldn't say no on the spot because I just woke up! I don't want that job she was offering me but why am I going to be picky?
What is the adult thing to do? I obviously have 3 options, 1) cancel the trip to Paris and do a super good job in the interview (I'm not sure if I'm getting it anyway). 2) don't cancel the trip, don't try at all in the interview. 3) settle in going to Paris, be hones with Bri.
After talking to my boyfriend about this, without hesitation he said, go to Paris! Looking over my situation again, I finally made a choice. I called Bri (it did not go well at all) and cancelled. I'm probably not going to have a job opportunity again from that agency. It seems such a childish thing to do. My decision does scare me, but then again, decisions never feel good %100.
Why go to Paris instead of taking the interview? Risks. I have too many times let good opportunities pass that I feel, now I am able to detect what is a better opportunity. As I'm typing, I'm realizing more and more that I made the right choice. Jobs, even in present economy, is attainable. Paris, is a different country, different culture, it's the outside that I have been looking for! Maybe the experience won't be what I'm expecting but, at least I have good expectations. With this job opportunity, that's what it was, just an opportunity to a work that isn't even in my field of expertise. That sounded funny just now because I'm not an expert at all, of anything. LOL. France, whether good or bad, is going to be an escape from this current life. I know, it's going to answer a lot of my questions.
For myself, my future family, for the experience.
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