purpose of living

Life is full of choices but I'm a strong believer of fate. We can move any way we want but we only have one destined ending. We live day by day, moving closer to that ending. Religious or spiritual people call it mission. They believe that everybody has a mission in life and that it shouldn't be led in vain. If you do believe that life is more than everyday struggles, then what do you think we should be looking ahead? When we walk with our head held forward, what are we looking for, what are we supposed to see?

Maybe you still don't understand what I'm getting at, and I don't blame you, I do tend to talk in riddles. I always leave blank spaces, as if everybody should know what I thinking, what I am talking about. What I am trying to snag or realize or resolve is the purpose of life. If its main purpose is to simply be the best, according to social norms, then baby I am way held back. That means, my life is already over and that living day by day struggles have no more point. That just sounds so boring and upsetting. I could talk and talk all I want but what would be the use? My life is done anyways...But it's not. I'm still alive, I'm still breathing.

I'm the type that likes to live subtly. I don't like getting a lot of attention because I react badly. Good or bad, I just rather live unnoticed. If you're saying that I have no more purpose in life, then why should I stay a burden to my sister, who works so hard? Why should I hassle my boyfriend, when I'm clearly not deserving? This theory just makes life sound so horrible and ungraceful. Maybe I should just kill myself.

That's where religion comes to play. In Catholicism, suicides are an immortal sin. Mortal? Immortal? That is because you are playing God. You as a mere mortal, are only borrowing the body which God lovingly bestowed on you to fulfill the mission you are assigned. That is also to say that your life is not really yours, but His. He loves you and wants you to enjoy that life, but the bigger fact remains, Don't Forget the Mission. You cannot end your life because only He can say when you come back home. Home, meaning Heaven with Him. A lot of people can't really grasp that idea, it's too silly, not to mention hard to believe.

If you believe in a God, then you know that there is a mission that you are meant to find and fulfill. Yes, yes, we're just going around the topic now. That is my dilemma. How do we get pass that topic and put it in to action? What choices do we make now? There are too many missing signs...